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You know that book "Men
are from Mars, Women from Venus"? Well, here's a prime example of
that. The unverified claim is that this was turned in as an actual
English assignment.
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person,
sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write
the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the
first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The
first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and
forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time, in order
to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached.
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Rebecca [last name deleted] and Gary [last name deleted]
English 44A
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
In-class Assignment for Wednesday
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At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if
she thought about him too much, her asthma started acting up again.
So camomile was out of the question.
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Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie, with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far
..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out
of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt
from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
cockpit.
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He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one
woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space
Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and
carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around
her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?", she
pondered wistfully.
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Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament
Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the
hostile alien empires, who were determined to destroy the human
race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they
swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile
entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret
mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his
fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to
veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!"
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This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate
adolescent.
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Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts
at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
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&&^%)#@
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(*#@!+^
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Laughing
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