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On my wedding day, I
carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our
one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car
in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and
shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a
kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the
assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to
ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together
and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a
boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But
the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable
changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me
from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.
This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind
of man who best draws girl's eyeballs." Her words suddenly reminded
me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said "Men like you,
once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of
this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But
I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some
furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously
she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.
At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind
although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found
it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I
mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a
good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was
sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we
watched TV together or, I was lounging before the computer,
visualising Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way. "Suppose we divorce,
what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a
word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far
away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got
to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all
the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide
something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her
eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me. "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?" Then we
live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got
something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly. Again I
observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my
mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to
divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be
much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I'm
serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me. "You are not
a man!" At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our
marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because
my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my
company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a
pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me
would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I
had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed
to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back
home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at
the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still
there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her
divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but I was
supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the
month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was
simple. Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and
she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the
agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still
remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This
question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I
nodded and said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms." She
continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in
your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this
month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every
morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet
days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly
and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has
to face the result of divorce." She said scornfully. Her words more
or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.
So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms.
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