I felt if I got involved with someone else at least Zia and she and her family will be spared by the wrath of her uncles they all could move on with their life and things would get better and easier for her. I started a relationship at this point with Jane, Jane was always there for me when I needed her and I guess she was the easiest for me to latch on too.

Jane and I discussed Zia and I made it clear to her that I could never love anyone as much as I love Zia also that if Zia ever needed me I would be there for her. Jane finds out she is pregnant this I read as a sign to let Zia move on with
her life, I explain to Jane my feelings for Zia and we discussed to handle our situation.

Jane and I get married on the 1st of April 2000, by now us expecting our 1st child. I do my best to move forward on a life that will make it easier for Zia to get on with hers, I hoped she would by now hate me so much to at least find someone who would not fail her as much as I did.

Zia was sent away to keep us out of reach of each other; I thought this would also help her make a life. My love for her was so deep being married I would go to bed every night thinking and hoping she was ok ,Jane new how I felt, I at this time and was very patient with me. I felt I have hurt so many people around me including Jane, I was totally lost ,Jane would hug me every night and say to me time heals old wounds ,I got to realize as well that Jane actually had fallen in love with me.

I was not sure if Zia's life got better as in society she would have to keep the relationship she and I shared a secret, if anyone new very few with marry her. I still felt although I am trying to help her I have stained her life for ever...

Zia gets married I hear about it and with tears in my eyes I break down, I miss her so much I still love her eventually I get to grips and realize I should be happy for her as I say to my self sweetheart at least your life is going to start, our love we share will be ours forever. Zia's husband is a man not even I could stand up to she truly got the best. Her family allowed this marriage purely as a factor anyone but me is now good enough all there talk of profession went out the window.

Time has been going and the saying time heals old wounds only if that was true. I have been trying best to contact here I just needed to hear voice and tell her I am sorry for everything I have put her threw. After some searching I mange to get a phone number. I phone her to check how she is doing.

Hearing her voice gave me goose bumps, trying that she does not hear the frog in my throat and the tears in my eyes I ask her how she is doing and Apologies for my failures. I can hear in her voice the love we share is burning bright in her heart. She tries to hide her feelings for me and I do the same, we always managed to think for each other so well. She would always know what I was thinking and so would I. We started to talk to each other every now and again just checking we both where ok.

Zia was pregnant now that was great news amazing, you would think I was the father I was so happy for her.Her life for once now is going in the right direction. We have kept contact all this time yet we have been apart for Twenty years. I still feel her love in my heart I guess I only look forward to everyday that comes just in case I get a glimpse of my sweetheart. My love for Zia is unconditional I will love her until my last breath. I do my best to be a good husband to my wife and I also feel guilty for my failures and misgivings.

Jane and I are still married I try to be a good husband for her and she and I have 2 kids my daughter aged 16 and a son aged 12. I have grown to also Love Jane in a very different way she has been by my side all this time. I laugh, I joke I put on a front that everyone accepts my life as they see it perfect in others eyes.

I live my life everyday with pain, agony and live purely as a son to my Parents, Father to my children, a Husband to my wife and a Failure to the one I Love the most

The 26th of December 2006 will be 20 years for Zia and I.

The names in this story have been changed.