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Sophie's face faded into
the gray winter light of the sitting room. She dozed in the armchair
that Joe had bought for her on their fortieth anniversary. The room
was warm and quiet. Outside it was snowing lightly.
At a quarter past one the mailman turned the corner onto Allen
Street. He was behind on his route, not because of the snow, but
because it was Valentine's Day and there was more mail than usual.
He passed Sophie's house without looking up. Twenty minutes later he
climbed back into his truck and drove off.
Sophie stirred when she heard the mail truck pull away, then took
off her glasses and wipe her mouth and eyes with the handkerchief
she always carried in her sleeve. She pushed herself up using the
arm of the chair for support, straightened slowly and smoothed the
lap of her dark green housedress.
Her slippers made a soft, shuffling sound on the bare floor as she
walked to the kitchen. She stopped at the sink to wash the two
dishes she had left on the counter after lunch. Then she filled a
plastic cup halfway with water and took her pills. It was one
forty-five.
There was a rocker in the sitting room by the front window. Sophie
eased herself into it. In a half-hour the children would be passing
by on their way home from school. Sophie waited, rocking and
watching the snow.
The boys came first, as always, running and calling out things
Sophie could not hear. Today they were making snowball as they went,
throwing them at one another. One snowball missed and smacked hard
into Sophie's window. She jerked backward, and the rocker slipped
off the edge of her oval rag rug.
The girl dilly-dallied after the boys, in twos and threes, cupping
their mittened hands over their mouths and giggling. Sophie wonder
if they were telling each other about the valentines they had
received at school. One pretty girl with long brown hair stopped and
pointed to her face behind the drapes, suddenly self-conscious. When
she looked out again, the boys and girls were gone. It was cold by
the window, but she stayed there watching the snow conver the
children's footprints
A florist's truck turned onto Allen Street. Sophie followed it with
her eyes. It was moving slowly. Twice it stopped and started again.
Then the driver pulled up in front of Mrs. Mason's house next door
and parked. Who would be sending Mrs. Mason flowers? Sophie
wondered. Her daughter in Wisconsin? Or her brother? No, her brother
was very ill. It was probably her daughter. How nice of her.
Flowers made Sophie think of Joe and, for a moment, she let the
aching memory fill her. Tomorrow was the fifteenth. Eight months
since his death.
The flower mans was knocking at Mrs. Mason's front door. He carried
a long white and green box and a clipboard. No one seemed to be
answering. Of course! It was Friday - Mrs. Mason quilted at the
church on Friday afternoons. the delivery man looked around, then
started toward Sophie's house.
Sophie shoved herself out of the rocker and stood close to the
drapes. The man knocked. Her hands trembled as she straightened her
hair. She reached her front hall on the third knock.
"Yes?" she said, peering around a slightly opened door. "Good
afternoon, ma'am," the man said loudly. "Would you take a delivery
for your neighbor?"
"Yes," Sophie answered, pulling the door wide open. "Where would you
like me to put them?" the man asked politely as he strode in.
"In the kitchen, please. On the table." The man looked big to
Sophie. She could hardly see his face between his green cap and full
beard. Sophie was glad he left quickly, and she locked the door
after him.
The box was as long as the kitchen table. Sophie drew near to it and
bent over to read the lettering: "NATALIE'S Flowers for Every
Occasion." The rich smell of roses engulfed her. She closed her eyes
and took slower breaths, imagining yellow roses. Joe had always
chosen yellow. "To my sunshine," he would say, presenting the
extravagant bouquet. He would laugh delightedly, kiss her on the
forehead, then take her hands in his and sing to her "You Are My
Sunshine."
It's was five o'clock when Mrs. Mason knocked at Sophie's front
door. Sophie was still at the kitchen table. The flower box was now
open though, and she held the roses on her lap, swaying slightly and
stroking the delicate yellow petals. Mrs. Mason knocked again, but
Sophie did not hear her, and after several minutes the neighbor
left.
Sophie rose a little while later, laying the flowers on the kitchen
table. Her cheeks were flushed. She dragged a stepstool across the
kitchen floor and lifted a white porcelain vase from the top corner
cabinet. Using a drinking glass, she filled the vase with water,
then tenderly arranged the roses and greens, and carried them into
the sitting room.
She was smiling as she reached the middle of the room. She turned
slightly and began to dip and twirl in small slow circles. She
stepped lightly, gracefully, around the sitting room, into the
kitchen, down the hall, back again. She danced till her knees grew
weak, and then she dropped into the armchair and slept.
At a quarter past six, Sophie awoke with a start. Someone was
knocking on the back door this time. It was Mrs. Mason.
"Hello, Sophie," Mrs. Mason said. "How are you? I knocked at five
and was a little worried when you didn't come. Were you napping?"
She chattered as she wiped her snowy boots on the welcome mat and
stepped inside. "I just hate snow, don't you? The radio says we
might have six inches by midnight, but you can never trust them, you
know. Do you remember last winter when they predicted four inches,
and we hand twenty-one? Twenty-one! And they said we'd have a mild
winter this year. Ha! I don't think it's been over zero in weeks. Do
you know my oil bill was $263 last month? For my little house!"
Sophie was only half-listening. She had remembered the roses
suddenly and was turning hot with shame. The empty flower box was
behind her on the kitchen table. What would she say to Mrs. Mason?
"I don't know how much longer I can keep paying the bills. If only
Alfred, God bless him, had been as careful with money as your
Joseph. Joseph! Oh, good heavens! I almost forgot about the roses."
Sophie's cheeks burned. She began to stammer an apology, stepping
aside to reveal the empty box.
"Oh, good," Mrs. Mason interrupted. "You put the roses in water.
Then you saw the card. I hope it didn't startle your to see Joseph's
handwriting. Joseph had asked me to bring you the roses the first
year, so I could explain for him. He didn't want to alarm you. His
'Rose Trust,' I think he called it. He arranged it with the florist
last Apirl. Such a good man, your Joseph..."
But Sophie had stopped listening. Her heart was pounding as she
picked up the small white envelope she had missed earlier. It had
been lying beside the flower box all this time. With trembling
hands, she removed the card.
"To my sunshine," it said. "I love you with all my heart. Try to be
happy when you think of me. Love, Joe."
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